Facing Reality With A Smile
Trapped by my own mind
When life became unkind
I was broken inside
Nothing in my life was right
My world was falling apart
Humanity continued to rip my heart
I had no where to run
Got to pull a trigger in this gun
For time couldn’t heal my pain
Wounds was all I could gain
Rapped by my own fears
Drowning in my own tears
Scotch by expectations
Wrinkled was the situation
A life in darkness
I remained in my own nest
Being alive felt like a crime
Wrinkle was my time
©Kitty Minaj
When the night falls upon us
And most souls lurks their snore
I lay awake in my sleep
Tossing and turning every second
Like I have bugs in my bed
The demons of the night wrestle my soul
And my mind drowning in thoughts
While my hearts breaking apart
Reminiscing about my struggles
Till my body shut still
Feeling numb yet still in pain
Tears falling like rainfall
Why, filled my mind with anger
Asleep is God upon me
While the devil troubles my sorrow
Depression took away my sleep
Anxiety introduced me to Insomnia
Awake I become during the night
Exhausting my life become each day.
©Kitty Minaj
Twinkling star beneath my feet
Yet my sky is shaded black
Take me high above the moon
Let me cry out like a wolf
Fill my soul just like the night
Let me rest without a scare
Hold me tight, be my demon
Free my mind and let me smile.
©Kitty Minaj
Help me, I am barely alive
Roaming the dark streets like a thug
Counting the stars from up above
Seeking a way to live my life
Or just a hand to help me up
Searching for a soul to better my life
Or a word to lie that I am loved
Instead of voices screaming I should die
Breaking my soul and wrecking my heart
Confusing my purpose and ruining my smile
Banished is how I feel inside
With no one around to tell me otherwise
But the scars of the wounds I carry,
That hurts more than life itself
So I pled for you to feel my pain
Numb the misery inside
Help me heal or take away my life
For I am barely alive
©Kitty Minaj
I took a leap of faith
And dried my tears
I looked beyond the pain
And consoled my sorrows
I forgave my choices
And celebrated my mistakes
I held my self up
And let go of my regrets
I moved on from the past
And planned my future
I learned to love myself
And I found true love
But all of that couldn’t heal my scars
And my wounds got worser
For trouble never ends.
©Kitty Minaj
I am lost
The darkness surrounds me
It’s getting so cold
I’m all alone
With no one to hold
My world is so empty
All what’s left is pain
No sunshine to light up my way
Just never ending rain
I drown in tears
My heart is crying
No one seems to notice
My soul is dying.
I blamed me
For ever being born
Without a purpose
And passion weighting on me
I blamed me
For my mother’s tears
And my father’s hatreds
Including my lovers lack of love
I blamed me
For all the nights I cried
For the pain in my heart
Wishing I could die
I blamed me
For being unhappy
For who I was born to be
And the struggles of my life
I blamed me
For all that I am
And what I fail to be
But all that I have became
I blamed me
Because I am me
I refused to be anybody
But broken Lee.
©Kitty Minaj
If the Wind had a heart
And it was allowed to touch
Would it hold me very tight
And dry away my tears
If the Wind had a heart
And it was allowed to see
Would it surround my sorrow
And blew away my broken heart
If the Wind had a heart
And it was allowed to feel
Would it blew apart
As it notice the pain inside
If the Wind had a heart
And it was allowed to care
Would it feel my struggles
And chase away my pain
If the Wind had a heart
And it was allowed to love
Would it always blew around me
And fill me with joy
If the Wind had a heart
And it was allowed to heal
Would it numb my wounds
Or fade away the scars
If the Wind had a heart
And it was allowed to decide
Would it let me live in misery
Or let me rest in peace??
©Kitty Minaj
It hurts…
When it hurts like hell
I tried to overdose
But no amount of medicine,
Can numb the pain inside
Instead it makes you feel worse.
When it hurts like hell
I tried to seek for help
But no human,
Can take away the misery
Instead they break you badly.
When it hurts like hell
I ran to him
But not even love,
Can heal the wounds in your sorrow
Instead it lesion even more.
When it hurts like hell
I killed myself
But not even death,
Can handle my heavy baggage
Instead it denied my soul.
When it hurts like hell
I finally gave up
For hell seem even better
Because this nightmare is curse too
And can’t escape from yourself
I let it hurt like hell
Widows vibrated to the cold breeze
Freezing the walls till they sweat
I felt my heart on my chest
As I held you near with passion
Sensed a smell so different all of a sudden
A scent I can’t recognize yet familiar
So I asked innocently for conformation
Thats When you turned your back on me with anger
But the scent of the girl brought fear
Of lose and betrayal
Till I ran back to the past for comfort
His words brought me joy and security
A long lost spark that I fail to resist
But his voice I recognized as pain
Now I’m back to square one
A place I never wanted to be
Yet I seem to always be
Guess this is where I belong
Back to the past.
©Kitty Minaj
