love · Sometimes

Love Is Blurry

They say love is pure
But what’s the purity of not being with the one you love?
Love gives us a taste of something then takes it away
A blurry version
Something that is not there.
We fall in love then fall apart at the end
Why do we hurt each other and call it love?
The wise said love is pure
Therefore if it left it was never meant to be
So the question is; doesn’t everything that happens, happens for a reason?
If i meet you today not yesterday,
Ain’t that meant to be?
If i fall without my intentions,
Ain’t that meant to be?
If not…
Then what exactly is meant to be?
Or maybe love ain’t meant to be pure
For it’s never perfect
It hurts even when it’s not broken
It loves most when it wounds
It makes everyone cry once in a while
It doesn’t grow on it’s own
Because love is a two way street
Love is blurry nor pure
You feel but never sure
You see but with doubt
And always wonder what’s going on…

Sometimes · The mask · Writing

Remember To Always Smile

Remember to always smile
When the sun goes down
And there is no light in your life
Let your smile shine in the dark

Remember to always smile
When the pain coils deep inside
And you feel like dying
Let your smile cover your wounds

Remember to always smile
In the world full of evil
And bad atmosphere
Let your smile confuse the devil

Remember to always smile
When  you’re drowning in sorrow
And your soul feels like hell
Let your smile dry your tears

Remember to always smile
When you have nothing to smile about
And the mask becomes heavy to wear
Fake the smile until it becomes real.

Boofie · Gucc! · love · Sometimes

Boys Are Pills

Boys are like pills
They make you fell better for a moment
Once they are gone,
And their lust is out of your system
You find your self feeling miserable again

And like any other drug,
When you have too much of it
You become immune to it
To the point that it makes you more miserable

But if you found a better pill
Use it wisely
And never overdose

Sometimes · The mask · Writing

Forgive And Let Go

Forgiveness is not easy. It’s like taking that first sip of alcohol. It’s bitter but in order to ease the pain, you know you must do it.

It’s hard to forgive and that’s why most of us only forgive because of love. For love allows us to see things on a softer side. To understand their motives in hurting us.

Therefore we would never forgive in an angriest mind. For what it does is build up emotions of angar and neglaction. Finding yourself saying you forgave but seek revenge.

Sometimes we don’t forgive in a purest heart but with a broken heart. Hoping for redemption for our empty soul. Blaming our selves for every deed.

It’s not easy to forgive the monster that broke you. But eventually in time we need to forgive, so we can let go It doesn’t mean we love again the nasty person who hurt us. It just means we ready to heal.

Forgiveness just means we stop allowing that nasty person to have any effect on our life. And we free our broken heart from all the trauma and feeling vulnerable.

By forgiving, we allow the beauty that is all around in our life again. And allowing better love to shine upon us.

Forgive and let go.

Depression · Sometimes · The mask

The Devil By My Side

For so many nights I’ve cried
Wounded and broken
Called out to the Lord
Ask for forgiveness,
If I’ve done wrong
Ask for redemption and mercy
I am weakening
Lord where are you??
It’s been 14 years in pain
Praying and calling out to Jesus
Did he mute me?
It seems his missing
All the nights I’ve cried
With no hope to be saved
With no hope to be freed
From this prison of life
One night the demons came
And they where always by my side
Holding me and consoling my sorrow
Confused cause I was expecting Angels
But greatful
With no hope
Mind given up
Yesterday mom said,’God is always by your side.
So today I checked
And the devil was holding me down
He told me everything will be alright
He wiped my tears
And kiss my forehead
His touch was warm and sincere
He promised to never leave
I believed him
Cause I know that this pain won’t end
For this life feels like hell
Therefore if I’m in hell,
What’s the point of dying…

Gucc! · love · Sometimes · TeeBae

If Love Was Boofie

If Love Was Boofie
Then love will be difined by his personality.

Tall: It could reach forever
light-skinned: You know it’s pure
huge ego: It’ll never Dies
pride: It’ll never let you down
narcissist: It’s very persistence
fit: It’ll never disappoint.
stubborn: Has passion
soft heart: It always forgives
Charming: It’ll make sure you always smiling
Matured: It understands

If love was Boofie,
It’ll be a love worth treasuring
For he loves with the clearest mind and a honest heart.
He ain’t perfect but like water his worth a try.

If love was Boofie,
Then love won’t be defined as a verb for his love is not shown but felt. And love to him is just a word to make you stay.

If love was Boofie,
Love will surely be complicated but seen as perfect. For perfection is who he is.

If Love Was Boofie,
Then Boofie Will Be My True Love.

Depression · Sometimes · suicide note · The mask · Writing

Silent Night

I woke up in the middle of the night
2:30am
The night was completely death
So still and quiet
Felt like i was under water
Like the world stopped for a second
The dogs were not berking
The owl seemed to be asleep
I couldn’t hear the twickle of the stars
And the moon was no where be found
My body was paralyzed and numb
I couldn’t move
My heart wasn’t beating at all
My mind went blank
Eyes wild open, starring to space
Tears flowing like rain
For no matter how numb i am,
And even in the silent night…
The pain seem to not end.
I’m broken not just hurt
Nothing can save me not even death.

Gucc! · love · Sometimes · TeeBae · The mask · Writing

It Doesn’t Hurt No More

It was just yesterday; When I looked at the broken girl in the mirror, eyes blood red in tears and screaming, ‘WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME!!‘ Failing to see my value. Then suddenly I felt my knees weakening, chest burning like I swallowed a hot bun, felt my mind blurred out and strength eloping to the point that I hit the ground.

I collapsed in the cold arms of the floor. Feeling nothing but the pain in my heart, unable to save my drowning soul and hating myself for the way he treats me. My mind went blank as I called out your name. I shrink my body then let it go. My heart went from bom ba bom bom da ti…..then stopped. I don’t remember much from there cause I swear I vanished like ashes.

Numb, numb….Forgot to say goodbye.

Numb…Like the wind drifting through the sea, I felt your spirit in my body. And suddenly, my mind raced when you gentle whispered ‘I Love You‘ in my ear but it sounded like ‘I lust You‘ in a monster voice. I felt your soft touch but it felt like a scratch as my heart started beating so fast like a clock. My body moved yet still felt numb. I saw your face as I opened my eyes. I smiled and whispered, ‘I Love You, Gucc!’ to the wind hoping it’ll transfer the message.

I got up from the floor. Told myself that ‘True love is pain. And that it has to rain in order for the sun to rise. You see you’re everything to me and without you the world seem scary, it’d be hard to lift my head up. You’re the reason am breathing and be able to be me.’ In that thought I got in bed, closed my blood red eyes to sleep. The night was cold and nightmares haunted me like a dark night.

Today I woke up to no message nor call from you; though it didn’t hurt. I called and no answer; I didn’t care, normally I call like 10x but today I only called once. I then switched off my phone and focused on my to-do’s of the day. And I didn’t think of you not even once. For a moment I forgot your existence.

Phone switched on, I noticed that you posted another girl. Guess what, I smiled. For I was happy that you found someone better and with that though my heart was at a normal rate, I wasn’t choking, my anxiety didn’t panic and I wasn’t pretending. I shed no tears but happiness. It doesn’t hurt no more to see you replace me.

I finally understood the true meaning of love (to love hard and love when it’s apart), let it hurt then set it free. Now I am free; from all the torture and the cost of staying in a relationship with no value. Now I know my worth and I am happy that you’re happy; after all everyone is doing what’s best for them and so are you. With that thought, it doesn’t hurt no more.

It Doesn’t Hurt No More.

Gucc! · love · Poetry · Sometimes · TeeBae · The mask · Writing

Lost Love

I glanced through the depth crystal blue ocean
Reminiscing about the distant lately,
And the misunderstanding we always had,
The tears I’ve shed everynight
And the heart you broke constantly without care
Then I realised, the ocean is not blue
The ocean just seem blue
But feels colourless though it’s greyish green.

I’ve always wondered why i stack around
Why do i still call my self your girl
why i stick with you even when you show no love
Why do i yern for your soul
Why i care so much for your heart
Why i crave for your; ‘I love you!’
When all you do is confuse me.

Like the ocean, things ain’t always what they seem.
Guess that’s why they say it’s not love if doesn’t hurt
So i close my eyes and reminsce about the facts;
The love in your eyes when you look at me
The warmth of your arms when you hold me
The lust in your veins when you touch me
And the moments we make when we’re together.

See, I always get confused when i think about us.
Confused why you can’t let me go
Why i choke everytime i wanna let you know
‘That maybe we better of separate’
But we can’t let go, is it fate?
Are we meant to be or just in denial?
To the point we can’t accept each other flaws
It’s been years for us to be this lost…

It all started with good intentions
And the purest passion
But we fail or maybe forgot to show love
Maybe not everything needs to be witness,
For the naked eye can be deceitful
And so we need to trust in what we feel
For love is not an object but an emotion
And your love i can not see yet i feel, everytime.

so…

I’ll dream of the day you’d show me love
The day i’d be your one and only
The day i’d make your heart skip a beat
The day you’ll cherish me with no shame
And the day you’d truly love me without limits
So for that day I shall wait
Even thought it might not come.

For now, i shall witness me fade from your mind
And embrace the silence of the distant
As i watch my name disappear from the tattoo
Until the only thing left will be my blood in your system
And the shade of the girl infront of you
Trying to show the memory of love
As you hear the sound of the heart that only beats for you

Even in hundred and thousand miles away
You Shall Hear The Heart Beat
Til It Dies
For I Truly Love You.

-Boofie

Gucc! · love · Poetry · Sometimes · TeeBae · Writing

Booty Call

Ring, ring with no love
Looking through your hazel eyes
Watching your love fade like blue skies
With no emotion left to be nice

Ring, ring with no love
Your arms are as cold as ice
Even though your heart still beat with mine
But your mind’s denying me like a virus

Ring, ring with no love
Only touch me to undress me
‘I love you’ to open my legs
And ‘you’re mine’ just to put it in

Ring, ring with no love
Feeling worthless after this round
Watching you sleep with no cuddle
I could run away but these chains…

Ring, ring with no love
I’m broken i just need you
Don’t need money just your arms
To hold me and make me feel alive

Ring, ring with no love
Here we go again,
Your hands on my tights
Clothes removed, you’re on top of me

Ring, ring with no love
Can’t resist the one i love
But always feel miserable after the second round
Asking why don’t you love me as you shut me up

Ring, ring with no love
This time with no rubber
Explained about the protection
You claimed you’re my man, it doesn’t matter

Ring, ring with no love
I might be pregnant this time around
Feeling pain as i try to pee
Crying to God, Why me?

Ring, ring with no love
Watching you leave like dark cloud after rain
Forgetting where you’ve been
Forgeting my existence

Ring, ring with no love
It’s been a month since we talked
And you just called to say, you’re horny
GUESS ALL OF THIS IS JUST LUST

RING, RING WITH NO LOVE
I SHALL NEVER ANSWER THIS BOOTY CALL AGAIN.

ยฉKitty Minaj