We all have that one day, were you can not even if you try, share a smile. A day so blurry that we struggle to face, struggle to avoid and it lurks in deep that it kills the only muscle that brightens a day. So what do you do when a day blurs in your eyes and everything around you explores with no sound but hurts in your heart and you can not seem to share a smile?
Like a lightning ray clamming from afar I wished for a shooting star A wish that could redeem my heart A soul that could save my life An extra breath that could warm my skin A truest life that consume my loneliness But like a star it’s out of my reach A distant faith I longed to have But a cursed soul I remain alone With no smile to share the scars No laughter to endorse the silence Enchanted a broken love it is Tears rejoiced my twisted faith Walls filled my unspoken words Pain took over my darkest world Demons became my remedy A best friend I longed to have Is a shadow that left my sight.
I wanted to write my heart out But my watery eyes couldn’t see a thing My shakey hands couldn’t hold a pen And my breaking heart couldn’t express it’s self. All I could do, is cry dead to a selfish life As I lay down on the cold hands of the floor Feeling the aching twitch of my veins And the trembling pain of my body As I try to acknowledge my broken soul
Like a memory my heart became It was never the same Born with so much scars in my faith Tears were all I could share in life Love was always hidden in my view Yet it manage to break me apart I grew stronger in time But in time I become weaker My soul couldn’t bare all the wounds And my sorrow couldn’t carry the baggage Tried so hard to heal this pain But a curse runs in my veins It took away my passion and dreams Left me with no one to run too But a darkness I couldn’t face Yet it surrounds me with fear This life is hard to live My heart hurts, it’s hard to breathe Like fire burning inside Feels like I could rip it apart Who on earth can heal this heart?
My soul has had enough In this world I do not belong Yet I can not seem to escape Have mercy on me, February I can’t bare anymore pain How many times do my heart have to break In order to gain my freedom of life Or do I not deserve to live in joy Do I not deserve to live with love Fix me, February, my heart aches Numb my wound and hide the scars Please restore my sorrow Fix me, February, it hurts Trying to breath in darkness And to smile with so much trauma Oh please fix me, dear February Teach me how to forgive My self for all this pain And life for being so cruel Teach me how to love The smallest things life has to offer And myself when love’s being distant.