Depression · suicide note · Writing

Another Way To Stop Breathing

What do you do when you wake up in the morning and you’re still alive after cutting your wrist, consuming a lot of poison and overdosing pills?

Do you take a leap of Faith?
Numb yourself and tie the rope
For pain can make life seem worthless and out of reach So you kick the chair and let go
Tigher and tigher the grip gets creating so much pressure in your head.
Feeling your face boiling hot and red
Muscles locking and hurting
And the struggle of breathing enabling your legs to get a grip on something
Too late
So you kick and kick till you finally let it chock
Reminding yourself that death is what you seek made all the struggle and pain disappear.
And suddenly you feel relaxed and at peace.
Bright lights flashes and everything turned white. Eyes heavy as you try to open them. With no effort you rest and let it be. ‘Thank you,’ you whispered to yourself.

Suddenly the lights got brighter as the air got thicker. The peace got shorter as you a beep in your ear. The silance faded as you hear your name being called and a familia grip on your hand.

‘uh’ You tried to speak but no voice came out. Then felt a finger poking your eyes so they open then you realize that you not death. Then everything fall into place quickly as the sounds get louder.

You opened your eyes and reality look back at you. Your mom in blood red eyes and a frawn face. ‘Are you trying to kill me instead?’ she cried. And tears ran down your face as you feel every ounce of the pain that you were trying to escape.

In the psych hospital, eyes shut and praying for redemption. Attempting suicide didn’t solve my problem but it made it worse. Now I’m paying for my sins and with that I learned that short cuts don’t exist.

You can’t run away from depression but being strong can increase the healing and facing your demons is the only way to survive.

If There Was Another Way To Stop Breathing.


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